Are You Making Yourself Wrong?



Most of us who are devoted to transformation have a bad habit—the habit of making ourselves wrong instead of right.

We come by it innocently enough. It isn’t born out of laziness, or weakness, or a desire to “self-sabotage” or “upper limit” ourselves, but out of a deep commitment to our own growth.

But as is true with every good thing gone wrong, there’s a shadow side to personal development—an unwavering devotion to ferreting out what needs to be healed.

If we are healers of some sort, the capacity to find the barriers, issues, and disowned parts begging for integration is truly a gift and serves us in our work with others.

But eventually, this hyper-focus on what needs to be “fixed” becomes an obstacle, especially when it comes to looking at ourselves.

Most us spend a lot of time making ourselves wrong—“I’m too sensitive,” “too bossy,” “too fragile,” “too strong,” “too loud,” “too angry,” “too quiet,” “too ____________(fill in the blank).”

Our real task in this lifetime, however, is to fall in love with our true nature. To embody our wholeness. To say yes to who we truly are.

This doesn’t mean turning a blind eye to issues that need integration, or behaviors that no longer serve, or parts of ourselves in dire need of an upgrade. It does mean recognizing that every part of us, even those we don’t like, serves a purpose.

I guarantee you that the thing you most struggle with about yourself is a sacred gift waiting to be alchemized. Everything, as my teaching partner Katie and I say in our Courting Your Medicine work, is a confused attempt at love.

Whether you are an activist, a teacher, an empath, a shapeshifter, a therapist, a light bearer, a holder of the collective, or a _____________ (fill in the blank), there are shadows and gifts to your Medicine. Learning how to consciously work with these shadows and gifts determines whether or not you are able to bring your Sacred Purpose to the world.

The Universe is “godding” through us exactly as we are. If we say no to ourselves, we block the flow, we block the operating instructions. If we say yes to ourselves, the true conversation with the world can begin. We can take our place as the priests, priestesses, and creators that we are.

We live in powerfully transformational times. We are waking up to the imbalances on the planet. Our old ways of doing things no longer work. We can no longer afford to say no to the ways in which the Mystery is guiding us. We can no longer afford to refuse our own flowering.

But the thing is, making ourselves right instead of wrong, honoring our true nature, and alchemizing our obstacles into allies, can be tricky business. Our habits have well-worn pathways. Our fears can be louder than our knowing. Lineage patterns, fear of our own power, our inner critic, and confusion about what to trust can obscure the way.

Sometimes it takes a tribe—a sacred container of like-minded beings devoted to walking the harrowing path to Soul— to become who we really are. We need mirroring, sacred reflection, wake-up calls, and reminders. We need to find ourselves in nature, in our dreams, in sacred ceremony. We need each other. None of us can do it alone.

This is where Courting Your Medicine comes in.

Courting Your Medicine is a 5-month deep-dive into finding and embodying your Sacred Purpose. Courting is not a workshop or a training. It is a ceremony; a commitment to your Soul. Held at the sacred Starhouse in the mountains above Boulder, CO, Courting includes Soul-centered work in nature, deep imagery, embodiment practices, mirroring, radical-truth telling, sacred theater, shadow work, journaling, art-making, and the spontaneous magic and awe of being human.

Because I have been so deeply moved and awed by what goes on within the Courting container, I don’t feel shy about saying that if you allow it, Courting Your Medicine can change your life.

That’s all for now friends. Let me know if you have any questions. Sending blessings and gratitude for you.


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About Sweigh Emily Spilkin

Sweigh Emily Spilkin, MA, CHT, PhD is passionate about helping people transform challenge into soul-centered growth. She is the founder of Thresholds Healing, through which she offers Body-Centered Psychotherapy, Somatic Soul Retrieval, and workshops and classes for therapists, healers, and other individuals ready to cross the Threshold into the full embodiment of who they really are.

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